♥ Mother Words
When we brought the youngest one home from the hospital, our third son asked, ‘What’s his special name, Mom? What are we going to call him?”
Then he rattled off all the boys’ special names I’d given them. They were a combination recipe of love language, spiritual gifts, and just plain old what God had put on my heart as the special ingredient that was the core of who He created them to be.
I am a firm believer in what you speak is what you get. As mother’s we need to take every opportunity to speak hope, love, and blessings over our children.
For years, every New Years Eve, my resolution was not to talk so much. When I got hold of Don and Katie Fortune’s Discover Your Children’s Spiritual Gifts and discovered that my ability to communicate was a gift, not something to be ashamed of or hide, I started liking who I was.
I want my sons to like who they are—not a false sense of build-up, but to understand that God put everything in them, designed them to feel the way they felt, laugh the way they laugh, and solve problems the way they solve them (Psalm 139).
There’s a double-edge to each gift, though. Just as a sword can be used to protect and promote goodness, it can also be used to exploit and promote evil. That’s where our job as mothers comes in to play. Our job is to help them recognize, develop, and use their gifts in a way that brings joy to life.
Our words do just that.
Sometimes, it’s hard to pull out the good words, especially when we don’t see goodness shining in our children at particular moments or points in their lives. That’s when we speak faith over them: “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1).”
I started speaking faith in little ways, by the nicknames I gave the boys. I thought I would introduce them to you by these names, instead of always using the oldest, youngest, 3 of 5, 2 of 5, or the second, and so on.
Joyful, the 3rd son, who was five at the time, said, “What are we going to call him, Mama?” ____ is Perceiver of Truth. _____ is Faithful. I’m Joyful. _______ is The Fire and the Power of the Holy Spirit.” What’s he gonna be, Mom?
Hopeful, I answered, “Peace?”
“Oh, no, Mama, He’s Love,” and he said it in a way that pulled out that loooove, as if he were in awe. He was right. The littlest guy is our Human Resource Department. He pulls everyone together.
Maybe your son or daughter has a personality trait that is driving you nuts. Make a list, then try looking at it from a different angle. Go to dictionary.com. Use their thesaurus. Find antonyms for those pesky traits. From a different angle, maybe you’ll see how beautiful that trait is. Then, start whispering about the beauty of that trait. As it grows into a beautiful gift, you’ll be shouting about it!
If you want to like the results, speak the results you want to see first!
so very true!! when i think of doing my motherly duties as serving them like the Savior served others it’s so much more fulfilling….perspective is everything!
Oh, how beautiful!!! I loved this post. I’m glad you visited me from SITS.
My daughter has the anointing of God’s love all over her and it brings everyone JOY. From the time she was born, she has been amazing.
It is wonderful to meet another Sister in Christ. I hope you’ll visit me often!
I would follow you if you had that gadget.
Thanks so much for the kind words. I think I have that gadget you’re talking about now. I have moved that mountain today through sheer will and determination. Instead of saying how incredibly dumb I feel in the process, I’m going to say, “Wow, I learned some great new stuff today.” LOL. Let me know if it works!
Blessings back at ya!
What a great idea. I think your boys are very lucky to have such a smart mother. 🙂 Stopping by from SITS.
I feel so blessed that I have found you and your blog. I am constantly aware of how my words are received by my kids. I catch myself saying something damaging that I heard as a child and I immediately correct myself.
I love the idea of these names….
What a wonderful post!! After a crazy day w/ my kids that allowed me to reflect on all the stuff I absolutely love about them : ) I’m glad I found your blog today, I’m sure I will be back again soon…
Thanks for coming by my blog today too 😉
This is pretty awesome. I will have to come back and reread it another time but I think you have some pretty awesome advice there!
What a peaceful blog you have here. Truly, I feel great peace when reading it, a sense of calming. I bet you’re a very calm and peaceful person.
Thanks for stopping and commenting on my blog today. I must say, it is easy being disciplined using WW. It is a very easy plan to follow and I love the online version. It’s convenient which is what I need. I’m on the computer all day anyway and having it at my fingertips works for me.
I am going to subscribe to your blog. I LOVE it!
I’ll be honest here–the older ones always tell me to “chill.” I utilize a full range of emotions. There are days in the car, all I say is, “Greater is He that’s in me than He that’s in the world.” I’m an extravert and pretty much what you see is what you get. By the way, a house full of 5 boys is NOT calm. My husband is the calm one, but thank you for thinking the best of me:)
Wow. This is great. Such an awesome reminder of the power of what we speak. Thank you for this!
beautiful and a great idea!
What a powerful post. Thanks so much for sharing! Stopping by from SITS with some Comment Love…
Dropping by from sits. Have a great holiday weekend.
I love the idea of looking for the bright side of what bugs us about our kids! Brilliant.
Dropped by from SITS.
Terrific way of looking at things, so we can see all the facets of our little God-given gems, and also every side of the one most challenging trait each might have!
I am so glad I visited you today! First, thank you for the comment you left me on Mama Ka’ts workshop; I do need to develop a criteria of what I like in a book. It’s all in my head, but not on paper, that I should be thinking about as I read the book.
As for YOUR blog post, wow! Sad to say, I have been too “busy” with other things that I have neglected my spiritual side. After reading you, I am reminded that every minute, every second can be a spiritual moment. Thank you, I needed that! 🙂
Thank you so much for stopping by. I just read the top three or so posts and you had me in tears. Especially about your son’s delivery, but also this post. Thank you for sharing so honestly. I’m afraid I don’t use words very well with my children – I am going to follow your blog and that way whenever I see a post from you it will remind me to watch my tongue! (As well as teaching me something else!)
Don and Katie Fortune’s books on motivational giftings are my all-time favorite books (after the Bible). So good to see you referencing “Discover Your Children’s Spiritual Gifts” in this post. That one was instrumental in raising my children well. I’m sure you’ve found it indispensable too.
I appreciate your intentionality and perspective as a Mom. Have a blessed Fourth of July weekend.
Hi from SITS…
i love your theme…
Thank you so much for stopping by my blog. I love this post. Thank you so much for sharing. I forwarded your Blog to my friends who are parents. I know they will be as encouraged as I am. We have 4 children. Two are twins (17, boys) and one (our daughter) has Cerebral Palsy. My days are not easy. I speak some of the same words of love over them all the time. Even when speaking to other parents about them. Instead of saying the bad things they are doing I talk about them in this way. We are seeing a difference in each of their spirits. I wish I could follow you but I don’t see the gadget on your site.
Love your Blog!! :o)
Thanks so much for your encouragement. To follow my blog, click on the Blue Cotton Subscriptions button on the right. Then follow the choice directions. If that doesn’t work, please let me know. Thanks!
I just found your blog through Proverbs 31 Homekeeper. This post speaks volumes to me today! My husband and I were just talking last night about our responsibility to mold and shape these little lives God has entrusted to us. One of the greatest forces we can use for good or not is our words. I have to watch them constantly. I am going to get the book you wrote about, too. Our little ones have very different personalities and gifts. I want to make sure I nurture them correctly.
Such a great post. One of my daughter’s names is Felicity. It means joyful and content and that is my prayer for her that she would find those things. Makes life so much easier.
Thank you for stopping by my blog………….it was a pleasant surprise! You blog and your writing has a very warm and comfortable feel.
I love your special names for you sons. It takes a special woman to cultivate loving sons, my husband is one of six boys and his mother was phenomenal!
I hope to visit more often.
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