How do you know when your son has found the girl? Granted, Isaac’s father and his father’s manservant knew before he did, but usually that’s not the case. I do have one true blue technique that will head off trouble in the long run, though. Any girl that walks through the front door, the kitchen door, the garage door, or even the basement door, whatever doors you have, open your heart as though she is the one.
Opening your heart achieves two goals: if she is the one, you haven’t started off on the wrong foot. If she is not the one, you have planted good seed. We should always treat others as though they are our favorites. Just like God treats us!
I can tell you when a girl is not the one. I didn’t need to see this happen twice to figure this behavior pattern out!
My oldest son was a camp counselor at a wonderful Christian camp for a few years. It is a camp all my sons have attended. I love how it affirms and deepens their faith by being in an environment where they witness and minister all week long. During the summer, they have Canoe Camp for the older students. Often the counselors participate.
One summer, my son and another counselor, Canoe Girl, admired each other. I don’t think they went “steady.” “Steady” is what the old folks did. They didn’t have a commitment. What they say today is they’re “together.” I think I like steady better. However, from what I understand from studying this species behavior “together” can mean big commitment or tentative not-quite-commitment commitment.
The canoe campers did what they did best, canoed. Understand, there was not hot water, no bathrooms, cooking over a fire—it was roughing it in the wild with adults keeping a watchful eye every moment. They canoed all morning. They canoed all afternoon. He canoed with her. Sigh! Always with a third canoer. One such canoe companion irritated my son. The irritation grew, greW, grEW, and GREW until he couldn’t take it any more. He abandoned the canoe. . . . and her to the irritant.
Lesson? If the urge to get out of the canoe is greater than the urge to stay in with a girl, then she’s not the girl.
Another test is the family endurance test. He brought Canoe Girl home for Sunday lunch one weekend. We lived close by the camp. Our other sons were quite small then, 4, 6, 9 and 12. This hadn’t happened before. A real girl of interest, coming into our home.
Every boy watched. The youngest ones giggled, trying so hard to behave and failing miserably. Suddenly, bathroom humor popped out, burping bathroom humor. It was downhill from there (I have always said, you can take them out, but you can’t take them home). She didn’t leave screaming, but she never came back.
My oldest son is getting married next week. He would never leave her in a canoe with someone else. If he left, he would take her with him. The Family Endourance Test? She did not leave screaming, and she came back. The boys love her! Me, too! From the moment she walked through that door!