Overcoming Fear and Insufficiency in New Things
Letter to Someone I Love on the Event of Starting a New Job!
“I always experience Fight or Flight syndrome at the beginning of new things, new people, new ways. I feel overwhelmed by what I don’t know, overwhelming fear of disappointing. . . of not being good enough. . .but then I think about how in two-months time, the new will have become old hat, so I squash down that Monster Fear and Monster Insufficiency and push on with often only sheer determination and surety God is by my side. Determination to not give up and God by my side always make all the difference. Love you! You will be just what you need.”
In July, I started a new thing. . . .
A new coffee shop and bakery opened. I had stopped by for a cup of coffee and a muffin – and came home with a job offer! I wasn’t looking for a baking job but I’d always wanted one – in a coffee shop bakery. When I prayed and weighed about doing this, one question kept coming to mind: Would I regret that I didn’t do this in five years? God asked me to be honest, to push aside the fear of doing something so very new but not new, something I didn’t have a piece of paper affirming my qualifications, something I’d done only for family and friends – and the answer was a firm, “Yes, in five years, I would have been disappointed in myself.”
So, what’s supposed to have been a couple days a week has turned into four for now while I learn new things as part of someone’s Dream Team. I love baking but my dream isn’t to own a bakery and coffee shop, but it is grace to be a part of that team – as a bake. . . .
Every morning under my clock-in name is the title, “Baker” – one word affirming I can learn new things. . . do new things. . . in new places. . . at 58 years old. . .
Bread and Rolls always seemed overwhelming in my house, within my boundaries. Pie crusts – weren’t much worth the time because my lack of confidence making, rolling and trying to dress up always made me feel graceless . The Monster Fear walked with its companion The Monster Insufficiency.
My mentor, this delightful shop’s owner, with great patience (long-suffering), guidance and encouragement, has spent weeks training me to overcome. I pushed Fear of Failure aside through determination, though my legs felt like jelly and trust that I could was faith that directions are true: I’ve mastered bread dough, cutting and dividing dough, rolling out dough – and turning it into heavenly cinnamon rolls and buns. Pie Crusts – done up prettily? Because I didn’t give up – I’ve overcome pie crusts, too.
In this New Thing I work with ingredients that turn into comfort. . . because, even baking in someone else’s kitchen, baking someone else’s recipes, being on someone else’s dream team. . . cooking/baking is never just baking. . .
Mornings measuring silky flours,
gritty brown and sugars. . .
ever contagious powdered sugars,
butters, creams and milks,
chocolates, peanut butters and nutella,
blueberries, cranberries, strawberries,
lemon and orange zests
a baker’s delightful ingredients
turning into comfort, celebration
called muffins, scones, and all kinds of rolls
That Monster Fear? It’s companion Insufficiency? They were there 37 years ago when I started my first newspaper job – and hoping I would get the punctuation correct in obituaries or that the city commissioner, county judge executive, even Mitch McConnell running for the Kentucky State Senate, wouldn’t guess I had more determination than understanding and send me packing without an interview , 35 years ago when I started graduate school and faced my first classroom full of students, each semester with new students, the office job at the university for 3 years – and now baking for a lovely bakery coffee shop – Fear and Insufficiency tried to horn in every time, making me feel I didn’t belong, wasn’t good enough, capable enough, smart enough – would I be found out?
Fear and Insufficiency have stalked me, threatened me, left me shaking in my soul shoes all my life. . . but for God! My Father who gave me courage, the determination to stand instead of flying away. . . .
. . . . so for the last month, I’ve been standing to mix, to roll out, to learn new things and new ways. . . standing with the One who goes with me, who tells me :
“Be strong and courageous.
Do not fear or be in dread of them,
for it is the LORD your God who goes with you.
He will not leave you or forsake you.”
~ Deuteronomy 31:6
When my boys were little, I’d tell them, “Slay that Monster FEEEAAAARRRRR” – using my best prophet voice. . . . they’d always roll their eyes. . . . I don’t think they realized I was speaking from experience. There are some things we need to tell ourselves over and over again because new things happen and in the new, sometimes, we just need a reminder of what we know. . . . because the new can kind of dazzle and overwhelm, trying to hide what we know.
This new thing – it’s a thread weaving in with the other threads of myself. I’m still taking photos – and honing those skills. I’m still writing – there’s a book so dear to my heart coming out in September – and I’m working on another – but for a couple days a week, I bake. . . and I practice being strong and courageous in someone else’s kitchen.
Thank you, Father, for encouraging me to do this new thing. . . thank you for standing with me while I battle Monsters like Fear and Insufficiency. . . and thank you that directions are more often true than not – in things like knitting and baking. Thank you that even at 58, there are new adventures, new usefulness, new things to learn. I am so glad that I trust you to push me through the doors you know are best and good for me – the push being your answer when I prayed about what to do. . . I love you, Father – for always being there and giving me the best guidance. Love, your daughter!
Remember Me Monday: #14 & Linky
“I’ll make a list of God’s gracious dealings,
all the things God has done that need praising,
All the generous bounties of God,
his great goodness to the family of Israel—
~ Isaiah 63:7, The Message
In the Old Testament, God repeatedly, quietly and loudly, tells his children, “You have forgotten me!” (Jeremiah 3:32, Ezekiel 22:12, to name a few). It’s a heart cry from a father to a child who has forgotten all the love, all the saving, helping, little and big blessings – and it leaves me stunned when I realize our Father, the creator of the universe, who knows things I cannot begin to fathom, who authors storylines that leave me amazed, delights in all of us so much, He cries out, “Remember Me.”
While every day is a Remember God Day, I am inviting you to join me on Monday mornings to come by and remember what God has done for you, for your family. Maybe God sent a cardinal darting out in front of you, as if to tell you, “I’m here,” or broke a child’s fever after you laid it all down at His feet in a 2 a.m. bedside vigil. Maybe He stood with you in the wait of a prayer sent out, or brought someone you loved to Christ. Maybe He healed your broken heart, gave your courage, or you gave Him your dreams as a love offering only to have Him give them back in an unimaginable way. Maybe God helped you survive to bedtime after a crazy Monday, or forgive yourself for missing it with your kiddos –– Whatever it is, let’s Remember Him. . . in a “Remember Me Monday” love letter.
“My mouth will tell of your righteousness,
Of your salvation all the day long,
Though I know not its measure.
I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign Lord”
~ Psalm 71:15-16.
Let us delight in Him by telling the stories of what He’s done! If you wrote a blog post remembering what He’s done for you, join the linky. If you didn’t but still want to praise Him for what He’s done – write it in the comment section. Then visit a comment before or after yours! One of the beautiful things about the blogging community is the relationships it builds!
Rules? Write long or short, a list or a story, include photos or not. Just Remember Him and what He has done, and let the gratitude of your heart guide you. Let’s make Monday so Rejoice, that the goodness of God spills into the rest of the week!
Places I’m Linking at This Week:
Inspire Me Monday, Grace & Truth, Global Blogging, Senior Salon, Hearth and Home,
Purposeful Faith, Tell His Story, InstaEncouragement,
Recharge Wednesday, Worth Beyond Rubies,
Share a Link Wednesday, Lyli Dunbar, Let’s Have Coffee, Legacy Link-Up,
Tune In Thursday / Salt and Light
Grace and Truth, Faith on Fire, Blogger Voices Network
You have made my mouth water. And I love this.
I’ve found myself loving things like pumpkin rolls and carrot cake since I started baking and learning new things! I am amazed – because they really are that good! I also love “kneading” puns now – like “You have to make the dough before you knead it” – LOL! Thanks for coming by! Praying God’s Shalom into your week! ~ Maryleigh
oh good grief, you have my mouth watering!
The challenges can sometimes literally make life sweeter – especially so in this case! Shalom! ~ Maryleigh
I saw your link at the Anchored Tuesday link up. We all need this encouragement to try new things and overcome the fear. Thank you for sharing!
The challenges may change but the need to overcome doesn’t! Thank you for your encouraging note! Praying God’s Shalom in your week! ~ Maryleigh
I am so proud of you! Fear and Insufficiency have been monsters I’ve battled too. I love that, when God calls us, He equips us. How wonderful that He’s placed you on a team where you can live your own dream even as you fulfill another’s dream. And congratulations on your upcoming book! That’s an accomplishment in itself. Enjoy baking and eat some for me. I have to eat gluten-free, so I don’t eat too many coffee shop baked goods. 😉 But I must admit, you had me at the photo of cinnamon rolls! 🙂
This bakery has an amazing gluten-free coffee cake muffin and a carrot cake muffin! They were amazing! I’ve never cooked gluten free before – I am amazed at the different ingredients! Those cinnamon rolls are just so awesome!!!
Amen! The world is so blanketed with fear these days! Thank you for the reminder that God still calls us out to follow Him, into new things, even when the fear tells us to back down. Congratulations on your new position, and on the upcoming book too! Blessings and Peace to you.
What a testimony and prayer over at your place today, Bettie! Your story, your prayer – the beauty and grace He gives us in the broken moments! Thank you for the encouragement and congrats – and for coming by today! Shalom, Bettie! ~ Maryleigh
You are such an awesome baker with all the goodies you make from your own kitchen, you’ll be an asset to this bakery and a delight to all their customers. Congratulations for fighting off the beasts of Fear and Insufficiency. I have the same battles with the same dominant enemies in my life! Maybe I should start using your technique of shouting, “SLAY that monster F E A R!!!”
I’m drooling over your cinnamon rolls and muffins. When can I taste some??? We need to span this distance between us!
Thank you for your honest and encouraging post.
My boys roll their eyes – then and now – when I would tell them to Slay that Monster FEAR! LOL – Maybe that will help them remember as they grow into their challenges. Thank you for your sweet encouragement! Whenever you come through Tennessee, message me and be sure to stop by!
I’m stopping by from the RaRa Linkup and so glad I did. Despite the fear, you’ve bravely stepped forward and provided me with such an encouraging example today. Thank you for this lovely post and photos.
Thanks so much for coming by Tammy – and being such a kind encourager! I know what it feels like to let fear stop me and what it feels like to do despite the fear – and I would rather live with pushing through the fear – failing or succeeding – and regretting I did not try! Maybe it’s about choosing the one that won’t haunt me. Praying God’s Shalom into your week! ~ Maryleigh
This was fantastic full of such wisdom. I love what you said, “but then I think about how in two-months time, the new will have become old hat.” I, too, have felt “Fear and Insufficiency.” In fact, two weeks ago, it was overwhelming, and I considered quitting something new I had started. Thank you for sharing with Grace & Truth Link-Up. Maree
I know what it feels like to let fear stop me and what it feels like to do despite the fear – and I would rather live with pushing through the fear – failing or succeeding – and regretting I did not try! Maybe it’s about choosing the one that won’t haunt me. Thank you for being such a kind encourager! Praying God’s Shalom into your week and in the overwhelming! ~ Maryleigh
Maryleigh – I am going to feature your post this Friday on Embracing the Unexpected | Maree Dee. Thank you for being part of the Grace & Truth Link-up. Quick question – Do you want your last name included? I do not see it.
WOW, Maree Dee! What a blessing -a blessing that just encourages the socks off me! Yes! Please include my last name – the author page is probably the only place my last name would be: Maryleigh Bucher! Thank you!
I found you through the InstaEncouragements Link-up and I’m so glad I did! I love your blog and enjoyed hearing your story. Happy to meet you!
Welcome Vickie! It’s so nice to meet you, too! Thank you for the sweet encouragement! Praying God’s Shalom into your week! ~ Maryleigh
What a neat opportunity! But oh so tempting! 😀 Kudos to you for conquering bread dough and pie crusts–two things I have not conquered. I’ve battled fear and insufficiency, too. One verse that’s often helped me in those times is 2 Corinthians 9:8: “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” Some times I reduce it to the phrases “all grace, all sufficiency, all things, all times” and repeat that over and over to myself.
I love this Bettie ” “all grace, all sufficiency, all things, all times” – thanks for sharing it with me! So much easier to remember! I finally conquered muffins today! Muffins have been surprisingly hard! Again, thanks for Scripture – and the easier way to carry it in my mind ~ Shalom! Maryleigh
to overcome a pie crust is no small thing. love this post!
You are so right! Pie Crusts intimidated me far too long! Thank you, Sue!!! ~ Shalom! Maryleigh
I agree although the best piecrust recipe I have ever had was from my dear friend Betty Mitchell, missionary & Dietician to Dalat School, Penang when we both worked there.
Dough is an area new to me (angel biscuits really being my only consistent go-to but not often) – so that means pie crust, too. I am intrigued about your friend’s recipe – and the recipe I am using now to become more discerning about pie crust differences! I’m totally over-the moon I can now roll them out and make the edges look pretty! LOL – Recipes, I will admit, are more dear and taste better when someone special shares them with us! What a memory reminder! ~ Blessings to you, too, Maryleigh
Lovely post MaryLeigh & also lovely to find your Link Up!
You’re most welcome to join me in a cuppa at Tea With Jennifer
Thanks so much for joining me Jennifer – between your tea and my baking, we should have a delightful time! I’m looking forward to visiting your place! Shalom! ~ Maryleigh
Fear is a real thing and it can paralyze, robbing us of the new things. I’m so glad that didn’t happen to you. Congrats on stepping into something new; baking on a team and authoring a book. There’s nothing insufficient about you.
I’ve learned to find my sufficiency in Him – doing what He’s called me to do. The world asks for numbers and publishing house bona fides – God just asks me to step and trust. That has given me a whole new perspective on what I did every day! Thanks so much for coming by and being a beautiful encourager! Shalom! ~ Maryleigh
How exciting to be starting something so new! And what a blessing you must be to the shop owners! It’s a win-win. 🙂
By baking on such a big scale, it makes doing it a home so much less intimidating! I made cinnamon rolls for my boys tonight for tomorrow – and it was a piece of cake -compared to how stressed out I used to be – so I didn’t! Thanks for coming by Lisa! ~ Maryleigh
Thank you for this inspiration. I am thinking that baking for a coffee shop/bakery would be a fun job. How fun to get to follow through with this dream of yours. Fear is not the boss of you or me. Keep on keeping on! You inspire me!
Mary, Baking things with dough used to be so daunting! So I didn’t! Now that I do it on a much bigger scale, it’s not as intimidating at home! I made cinnamon rolls tonight from scratch for the boys for the morning – and it was so very easy! Thanks so much for your encouragement! ~ Maryleigh