♥ Bad WorDs and Sauciness
Experience allows a more 20/20 perspective on behavior. Otherwise, the other night, I probably would have notched my stress level to Red Alert, incited an inquisition and reduced my little guy to tears. As a matter of fact, he was disappointed I didn’t make him cry.
I was snuggled in a blanket reading The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins. Whenever life gets a little stressful, I succumb to 19th century literature. Nineteenth Century lit always has a happy ending. Last week, I finished Jane Austin’s Persuasion to assuage my stress. We are physically moving our household this weekend to another state. School starts Monday. We’ve been living with my lovely in-laws on and off during the summer, getting the boys moved up for their sports activities. I’m sure I’m going to need another dose of Austin before the next week is out!
My little guy, the Human Resource Department of the family, entered. “Mom,” he said. “I gotta tell you something.”
“Oh, what have you got to tell me,” I asked. I could pull out a folder a mile long on “I gotta tell you something.” This folder could boast of owls in the yard, snakes on the living room floor, the family room on fire, a project due tomorrow, broken dishes, spilled drinks, or just simply, “I love you.” I was hoping for “I love you.”
“I’ve been saying bad words,” he answered.
Shew! I’ve been here before. I can handle this. I set my book down, asking, “When did you say these bad words?”
“Well, I know about 2 or 3. But I didn’t know they were bad when I said them,” he explained, in a matter of fact voice.
“When did you say these bad words?” I repeated, reigning in the conversation, my information-gathering detective mode kicking in.
“Well, one was a very long time ago,” and then he rambled on a bit about the others. I wasn not about to ask him what the words were. I could guess. Reducing him to embarrassed giggles by making him recite them would detract from the message. Besides, if he is not supposed to say them, asking him to do so somewhat defeats that directive.
“If you know they’re bad words, then don’t say them again. O.K.,” I instructed.
He waited, looked a little crestfallen. “Are you going to spank me?” he asked.
“No. Not if you don’t say the words again. You know the right thing to do,” I assured him.
“Can I pretend to cry, go upstairs to [Fire and Power], and tell him you spanked me,” he asked, hopeful. After all, he had a plan. It looked like the plan began and ended with him pulling a prank on his brother, not true despair and repentance over word choice.
“Do we need to talk about truth-telling and lying now?” I asked, trying to pierce him with my sternest look.
It probably didn’t end that way when the first and second son came in years ago, saying the same thing. I probably made more out of it than I should have. Some things don’t change: Same conversation, different sons. 
It is part of growing up, learning to decipher good behavior choices from bad. They just want reassurance they know the right choices, the right language from the wrong. My oldest son says that I am easier on the younger ones than I was on him. I think I am a little wiser in how I handle parenting challenges. For example, subtle pressure verses lowering the boom can be quite powerful.
Funny how little moments like that, spiced with some pure mischievousness can lighten your heart and reduce your stress better than a good 19th century classic!
Gorgeous Pictures! Happy Saturday Sharefest! 🙂
just caught my own 12 year old using some bad words this morning. but you have my ear… 5 boys?! I thought my 4 kids were tough to handle. you have a spicy life 😉
Sometimes you just gotta sit back and wonder what on earth was going through their heads when they came up with their plan.
Praying your move is smooth and swift!
Nice to find someone else who finds Jane Austen’s novels relaxing. I can get lost for hours …. and Persuasion is my favourite.
So true that you tend to handle misbehaviour very differently with the younger children than with the first born.
Sounds like you have a lot on your plate-I don’t envy moving to a whole other state. I hope your move goes smoothly!
Such a well written post! I agree, when my son says something funny or a is being mischevious-it puts a smile on my face and in my heart faster than anything else!
Reading your posts is like looking into my future… 🙂 It will be interesting to see what kinds of funny things my son says to me when he is older! 🙂
Guess this is something I have to look forward too. At four, my son doesn’t seem to understand the consequences of lying. We’ve busted him saying a few bad words… hopefully they won’t keep creeping in!
I love the way that you have learned from dealing with your older sons.
Not to panic!
Sometimes, I still hit that button.
Hope you get settled soon.
Sweet dreams.
I forgot to tell you.
My children and my husband accuse me of going around the world to tell a story.
Just thought you should know that.
Sweet dreams.
Great Post! You can tell you love being a mom too. I love that he felt comfortable enough to tell you that he was saying those words….such a good thing! Good thoughts to share. I enjoyed reading your blog and will be back! 🙂
I agree subtle pressure ususally works much better than lowering the boom! That is wisdom speaking!
I love your blog, as does my husband. It kinda sounds like your little one may have been hanging out with ours (he’s six-and-a-half…. I get in trouble when I leave the half off;). I’m gonna have to become a subscriber, hoping to learn a little from a mom with more experience. He’s our only one so far, though some days we aspire for more. Some days. Hope the move goes well. We are planning a family-state transplant in the near future as well:)
It’s always fun to see where conversations that start with “I’ve got to tell you something” will end up. … Sounds like you did a good job handling this one, Mom. I like what you say about children needed reassurance that they’ve made the right choice. Yes …
That is one of the cutest stories I ever heard! Your son is a gem.
“I gotta tell you something”. Sounds like a book title to me, with miles of pages being written as your kids supply the verbal typing. With a humorous book such as that would be, dear Jane and pals would be destined to a long shelf life!
Ha. That is adorable and sounds just like a little boy. Gotta love it. You have definitely followed Wisdom in the way you deal with your boys.
Blessings!
Beth
I love your story. Wish it had worked that way for me. My experience was that my older two…the most “serious” thing they said was “Shut Up.” Easy enough.
My third daughter…well, she’s just a whole new ball of wax!
Thanks for stopping by my blog and sharing yours!